So I get this email, sent to me and someone called EARLY BIRD, and all that’s attached is an MP3. You should take a listen. I mean, really, take a listen.

It’s great, and it’s probably hot new music… or something.

From: skavbuzz <********@*****.com>
To: thewrongjohnsilver@gmail.com, EARLY BIRD <*******@*****.com>,
Subject: Fwd: TWIRK IT
Date: 22 Oct, 2017

Sent on a Sprint Samsung Galaxy Note® II

-------- Original message --------
From: John M*****
Date:10/21/2015 10:50 PM (GMT-05:00)
To: ********@*****.com
Subject: TWIRK IT

I can only assume this has generously gifted me this tune, otherwise, why forward it along? Clearly, I need to express my heartfelt thanks…

From: thewrongjohnsilver@gmail.com
To: skavbuzz <********@*****.com>
Subject: Re: Fwd: TWIRK IT
Date: 22 Oct, 2017

Dear Mr. Buzz,

Thanks for sending me such a thrilling and, frankly, heartfelt and moving tune. I feel as if the music has brought us closer together, Skav. May I call you Skav? Sharing these sentiments through the joy of the rhythm, and the powerful though almost painfully repetitive chorus has made me feel as if we are friends. 

Who can deny that timeless and simple advice that one should indeed, "come getta grip from that n*gger, get a grip". I was somewhat perplexed if I am honest as to the relevance of some of the rest of the words, yet in no way did I feel less drawn to the new found friendship we now share. 

Why, for example, would you want to ride me? Am I a bike? Surely we know I am not, yet it feels as though in this metaphorical high that we strive for together that you indeed will feel lifted by our friendship, as though you can indeed say you rode me. Hopefully to greater heights, eh Skav old boy? 

No doubt you can imagine me deep into the music, feeling it in my soul as I imagine the listener dancing, as in a later part in the song when indeed the lyrics declare that you love it when I dance, and my ass goes bump-a-da-bump-bump. Who cannot feel that same intense joy of an artist expressing the music through the movements of their dance, and the forms they choose? 

I hope your friend (and now perhaps mine?) Early Bird also enjoyed the 'sick beats' as much as I did, and I would be interested in his interpretation of pussy endurance, and how such a strength may be measured in the humble house cat? Is it just indeed and artistic contrivance that we need to worry about such things? We know that twerking (or is it twirking?) and reversing it is real, so why doubt the veracity of other expressions in the words of this song, which is now surely a modern classic.

I'm so happy that you reached out to me through music in this way, and I look forward to our future email friendship. Without doubt, you have made my day a happier one, and I thought you should know. Keep it super real for shizzle, as all the homies say, and stay in touch my friend,

John "Gonna Get a Grip" Silver

No reply. He was probably too moved to respond. Fo reals.